Yosemite Valley is a place of
solitude, a place where I come to make sense of the tragedies and horrors going
on in the world.
*
Before dawn I stand by the
river to get a feel of its movement through the valley, then head off on a hike
through the wild beauty of Creation. After the walking meditation with the
mountains, the listening conference at the waterfalls, and the conversations
with chipmunks on trails through the forest, I return in the evening to the
river. I sit with the day’s experiences and discover the threads that tie them
together.
Looking at the river in front
of me, seven dark rocks run in a line across the light-colored ridges on the
sandy bottom like a sand garden in Kyoto, with flowing water replacing the
movement of the air. The ridges and different colors of pebbles on the bottom
create patterns that occupy the mind while my spirit is free to wander.
A boulder rises above the
surface of the water, and I can see its entire being because the peacefulness
of the river allows it. I know that the flow of the river is strong because I
can see the long undulations on its surface, but I see nothing of the struggle
of the boulder to hold its position in the riverbed. So it is with people.
It's a contemplative scene,
one of many around me. I could ask any question that comes to mind and hear a
response. Perhaps: "Why do I feel so at home here?" Then I listen for
the answers that come, and dwell on the response that startles me the most —
the one that says, This is where the spiritual unites with the physical.
The surprising response is
the one I need to pay attention to because it comes from an unknown place, a
place not controlled by me. It calls me out of myself and into a relationship.
It calls me into intimacy. It feels like there is no boundary between me and
nature. As the week goes on, I open myself to it and hide nothing, sharing all
my thoughts and feelings, as well as the longing that rises from deep beneath.
Like the I-Thou relationship, I hold nothing back from nature, and try to set
my preconceptions about nature aside so that I may fully understand. Yet I sense
that there is so much here that I’m not perceiving.
The day spent hiking has been
the prelude to this moment. All day the feeling has been growing that I have
entered the beauty of the wilderness. I feel the valley’s presence around me.
Everywhere I look I am surprised by wonder. Overwhelmed, I close my eyes, lean
back against a tree and let this presence soak in. I listen to the thrum of the
mountains, and feel the power of the river as it flows on to nourish the world.
As the sun begins to set on
the other side of the mountains, the valley disappears into darkness. I let
myself rise and wander among the wonder of the stars.
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