Cancer Doctors Have Emotions

 

Laura Vater, oncologist

This is an aspect of cancer care that I’ve been waiting for — the emotions of a doctor caring for cancer patients.

I discovered the writing of Dr. Laura Vater because her essay “Goodbye Stethoscope” was also in the 2025 issue of The Examined Life Journal published by the Carver College of Medicine in Iowa. I was drawn in by its honesty and compassion.

The Emotions of Medical Folk

Where It Hurts: Dispatches from the Emotional Frontlines of Medicine, 2026, ed. by Donna Bulseco, Intima Journal.

What I love about this book, among many reasons, is that it shares the emotions of the people who cope with stress, fatigue, and burnout as they care for people, day after day, who are seriously ill. The accounts cover the gamut of care by doctors, nurses, EMTs, and therapists who speak of the emotional toll on them, especially when they have to deliver bad news. This is a side of our doctors and nurses that we seldom see.

Stop Being a Man and Focus on Being Human

It is never okay to treat another human being as an object. For any reason. Ever.

Men are taught to be rugged individuals. We are taught to think, take charge, and make decisions, even if we don’t know what’s going on or understand what needs to be done.

Men are not taught the way of the heart. We are not taught how to be part of a community where ideas and insights are shared. We are not taught to respect each other. We’re taught to genuflect to power.