Living in the Twilight

 Kate Bowler, Everything Happens For a Reason And Other Lies I’ve Loved, 2018

Having cancer isn’t funny, but that doesn’t mean we have to stop telling jokes.

What makes Bowler’s book significant in the world of books about cancer is that she is dying and she’s not. She has Stage 4 colon cancer that is being held at bay by experimental chemotherapy and immunotherapy, and lives two months at a time, from one checkup to the next. If the checkup is good, then she knows she has two more months of life. If it’s not, then she knows to start saying goodbye. 

On Dying and Cancer

 

Atul Gawande, Being Mortal, 2014; Complications, 2002; Rana Awdish, In Shock, 2017.

Effective health care begins when patients feel their concerns are being heard and they are involved in deciding their course of treatments. Atul Gawande’s books speak of the need for patients to feel empathy from their doctors, and of the challenges that doctors face to provide the right care. He writes eloquently from the doctor’s perspective and tells stories in a narrative voice rather than using the language of clinical reports that cite case studies. Doctors and nurses find in him a kindred voice.

Prostate Distillate

 

If you’re a man, you have a 1 in 8 chance of developing prostate cancer at some point. (Women have a 1 in 8 chance of developing breast cancer.) This will generally happen when you’re older, and in most cases, it will be so slow growing that you will die of something else before your prostate becomes a problem. That’s good news.

It’s still shocking to hear the doctor say you have cancer. My annual PSA test came back with a number that was much higher than the year before, so I knew something was afoot. The news surprised me because I had no physical symptoms of a problem. I expected to end up in the large “we’ll watch to see if anything changes” group that most men are in where nothing needs to be done.

The Poetry of Cancer

 

Ilyse Kusnetz, Angel Bones, 2019, and Julie Hungiville LeMay, The Echo of Ice Letting Go, 2017

When we are dying from cancer and facing the end of our life, our senses sharpen and words distill into images and metaphors of poetry.

Not all of us are poets, of course, and not all of us would take time away from living our last months to look for the words to express what we are feeling and thinking. Rather than write, we may want to complete items from our bucket list that we’ve kept putting off, or focus on sharing everything we’ve learned about life with our children. Maybe we want to stop trying to achieve goals and simply enjoy each day free of outside expectations.

John Donne and Cancer

 

Margaret Edson, Wit, 1993

Margaret Edson wrote a play called Wit that talks about the experience of having cancer and going through chemotherapy. In the early 1990s, discussions like this were not common. The play tells the story of Vivian Bearing, an English professor, who is diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer that has metastasized. It’s not surprising that Bearing would be Stage 4 because there is still no method of screening for this cancer. In the play, Bearing knows there is a problem when her abdominal pain doesn’t go away. 

The Healing of Therapeutic Massage

 

I’m delighted that my short essay “After Cancer Treatment, a Restorative Touch,” on the healing power of therapeutic massage for cancer patients, is published in the July issue of American Journal of Nursing. Because it’s available only to subscribers, I’m unable to include a link so that you can read it. This kind of therapy was invaluable for me because it gave me my body back.

Biden and Prostate Cancer

 

By now you’ve heard that Joe Biden has prostate cancer. Even if you don’t know what this means, where the prostate is or what it does, you should realize that his cancer is serious and he will die without treatment.

What I know about Biden’s cancer is that it has a Gleason 9 score and is Grade 5, which means that it’s fast growing and aggressive. It is not the slow-growing kind that 80% of American men get. Apparently, he was having urinary problems, which is common for older men, and went to a doctor to get it checked out. 

Breast Cancer and the Health Care System

 

Anne Boyer, The Undying, 2019

Anne Boyer’s book about surviving aggressive triple-negative breast cancer, The Undying, takes the reader inside what it feels like to endure chemotherapy without any promise of surviving. Boyer covers a wide range of topics—the physical suffering, fears about dying, coping with the pain, research into the medical treatments, the philosophy and history of breast cancer procedures, and the social inequalities of a for-profit health care system and the politics of care.

Morality

 

What will be left of our morality if we do not act morally now?

Gilda and Cancer

 

Gilda Radner, It's Always Something, 1989

Holy Fools Day

Today, April 1, I honor one of the saints of laughter – Gilda Radner, who looked for humor in the midst of her cancer, and found it. She bore witness to the power of comedy, and is one of my Holy Fools.

You probably remember Gilda from Saturday Night Live. She died of ovarian cancer in 1989 at age 42, and her husband Gene Wilder was devastated. A speaker from Gilda’s Club in Chicago met with my cancer support group and talked about how they are helping people navigate through their cancer. The Club was created to continue the hope and support that Gilda found in The Wellness Community in Santa Monica as she went through treatments. Her book It’s Always Something records her journey though surgery and chemotherapy, and it was published shortly before her death.