A Lifespan of Width

 

Andrea Gibson, You Better Be Lightning, 2021

Reading the poetry of Andrea Gibson is like coming out of a thick, brambled forest and seeing the beauty of the mountains rising all around you.

Andrea Gibson (they/them) died in July 2025 at age 49 after four years of dealing with ovarian cancer, but cancer will never be Andrea’s story. Before this, Andrea struggled with the serious side effects of Lyme disease and this ushered in a deeper understanding of the suffering that others go through because of chronic illnesses and disabilities.

I’ve read only a few of Andrea’s cancer poems because they haven’t been published in a collection, and I long to read more. In the stunning poem “In the Chemo Room,” Andrea takes off the ice mittens to preserve their fingernails to write “I could survive forever / on death alone. Wasn’t it death that taught me / to stop measuring my lifespan by length, / but by width?”

My only qualifications for speaking about Andrea’s work come from having aggressive cancer and writing poetry. Andrea’s words reach past the cotton bumpers and the sound walls we put up around us to protect us from pain. With cancer there is no running from, only running to, and Andrea encourages us to claim the courage that we carry in our hearts and find life within the darkness.

What surprised me is that Andrea opened to happiness because of cancer instead of closing down in anger, frustration, and depression. Although I’m sure that Andrea felt them, I think they realized that writing about them did not help anyone, but affirming what was still good and beautiful about life could. This is Andrea’s story.

While working with a therapist to help themself feel and honor all emotions, Andrea realized that they had never let themself feel happiness until they had cancer. This door opened, and the gratitude they felt began to permeate their poetry.

After three years of continuous chemotherapy, Andrea left the clinical trial because of the toxic effects on the body and wrote the poem, “What’s Real,” about the struggle between the mind and heart to decide what is true about reality, and what are only presuppositions. I like the lines, I hold “a stethoscope to my pain / and [hear] the heartbeat of the whole world.”

The author of seven books, Andrea’s last book of poetry, You Better Be Lightning, was published in 2021, right when they were being diagnosed with cancer. Andrea began an experiential blog on Substack called “Things That Don’t Suck” to affirm the good things and to share their journey with cancer. The writing is filled with insights, wisdom, humility, and inspiration for those who are dealing with any serious health problem, and they challenge us to care about those who are suffering and live on the margins.

Andrea performed poems on stage, so the poems tend to be long. Often they are monologues where rhyme shows up now and then, and rhythm builds on the cadence of image after image. There are quite a few videos of the performances, and they are witty and understanding, connect concrete things with ideas (“keep a roof over the head of truth”), and riff on topics that cut through the dross of life and get down to the bare metal of living — suffering, community, and justice. Andrea’s poems say we can feel gratitude even when we have cancer, and I need to be reminded of this on my hard days.

Ovarian cancer is the 11th most common cancer among women, but the 5th leading cause of cancer-related deaths. In their lifetime, 1 in 91 women will get it. By way of comparison, 1 in 8 American women will get breast cancer. Ovarian cancer is hard to diagnose because the symptoms are generic, and most cases are diagnosed at Stage 3 or 4 when survival is less likely. In the 1990s, quite a few women were still dying only one year after diagnosis, but survival in the last thirty years has greatly improved because of cancer research. The 5-year survival rate is still only 50% because of being detected in the later stages. If it’s found early, 92% survive five years. If found in Stage 4, survival falls to 30%. Older women are more likely to develop the cancer, and having the BRCA-1, BRCA-2, or Lynch syndrome genes increase your risks. 

 The list of famous women who died of ovarian cancer include Gilda Radner, Madeline Kahn, Dinah Shore, Coretta Scott King, Rosalind Franklin, Joan Hackett, Sandy Dennis, Laura Nyro, and Jessica Tandy. Some of the women who are surviving include Cobie Smulders, Kathy Bates, and Christiane Amanpour.

Megan Falley, a poet and Andrea’s wife, said a lot of Andrea’s words have yet to be published, including a memoir, half-finished poems, and a bunch of late night thoughts recorded on Notes. Megan not only has to deal with her grief, she also has to face deepening her sorrow as she sifts through, rereads, and prepares the words of struggle and hope that were written by someone she loved.