Never Give Up

 Sylvia McNair, breast cancer

At a benefit for breast cancer in East Peoria, world-famous Sylvia McNair sang music from Broadway and opera. Between songs she spoke of being diagnosed with aggressive Stage 3 breast cancer in 2006 and how crucial her community of close friends had been to her recovery. Her diagnosis came out of the blue because she had no family history of the disease, ate a healthy diet, was active, and her mammogram was clear six months before the diagnosis.

She did not lecture us about the disease, nor did she tell us how we had to counter the beast of cancer. She simply talked about her struggles and shared what enabled her to get through the months of chemotherapy and radiation, the mastectomy, four other major surgeries, and all the despair she felt when she was told she might have only months to live. She did not hide from how hard the struggle was, or how scared she had been. 

Her smile was proof that the trauma and challenge of cancer could be overcome.

She spoke of her joy and hope as well as her sorrow. A friend from her hometown of Mansfield, Ohio had also been diagnosed at the same time with the same kind and stage of breast cancer. Although they both received the same treatment, her friend died. “It’s just not fair,” Sylvia said. And it isn’t.  

We do not know everything that will happen to us in the future. We like to think that we know enough to make plans for the rest of our life. We like to think that the life we have today will go on forever, and even get better. We conveniently forget how many times the unexpected has happened, both good and bad. We become so focused on keeping our lives going along the same path that we forget that the joy in life is often found not in getting somewhere as fast as possible, but in slowing down and taking side trips on the backroads. 

Being diagnosed with cancer does not mean impending death, but it does mean that it’s going to be your main focus for at least several years. When a serious illness like cancer upends our life, and we are pushed to the edges of our endurance, we learn where to find the resources to keep us going.

By having to ask for assistance, we learn to be humble and we experience the healing power of compassion. By sharing our situation with others, we find people who are willing to help and stay with us through the entire course of treatments. Not everyone will, of course, but there will be enough. We know people who’ve had breast cancer because ordinary women got angry, stood up, spoke out, and demanded health coverage and support for cancer research.

If something feels wrong in your body, don’t ignore it. If your doctor says it’s probably nothing, get a second opinion. (Gilda Radner got the runaround from a series of doctors before her cancer was diagnosed, and by then it was Stage 4 and terminal.) This is your life and only you know what your body is saying. Unfortunately, there aren’t tests yet that can screen for every type of cancer, like ovarian and pancreatic where symptoms can appear so generic that doctors aren’t able to make a diagnosis. If something feels different, get it checked out. Get a second, and third, opinion if doctors keep brushing your concerns off.

Sylvia is grateful for her cancer because she is living with more clarity, and she is thankful for a second chance at life. Her message is simple when the future looks bleak: “Do not give up hope. Ever.” 

This year, Sylvia celebrates twenty years of being a cancer survivor.

© 2026 Mark Liebenow