Anna Quindlen
Going through cancer treatments is traumatic. If you have cancer, there are days when you bare-knuckle your way through with clenched teeth and a determined “Don’t get in my way” stare. What helps us cope is keeping a journal, writing down what is going on, what our doctors are saying, what we are thinking, and how we are physically and emotionally doing with all of this.
There is so much information coming at us that we forget some of the details. During appointments, we are busy asking questions about something the doctor said a moment ago, because we want to understand, that we miss what they are talking about now. On top of this, the doctor’s after-visit summaries seldom contain everything discussed that we thought was important.
After each appointment, write down every detail you can remember, and every day write about what you’re thinking and feeling to help you understand what is challenging or troubling you.
Tucked in the middle of Anna Quindlen’s book, Write For Your Life, is a section on healthcare workers who write to process the emotional challenges they go through each day (pp. 67-89). She references Drs. Rita Charon, Rafael Campo, Laura Vater, and nursing Professor Linda Honan.
Rita Charon encourages her medical students to create parallel charts to record their impressions and the stories of their patients, details that don’t go on medical charts. This speaks about connecting to your patients beyond the diagnosis and treatment specs so you can respond as a person to the person who is your patient. This is important because it helps guide your interactions. It’s borrowing from the family doctor playbook — if you know who your patients are and how they live, then you can better treat them. Perhaps one patient reminds you of your grandfather. Feeling this affects your care of that patient, depending upon how well you got along with gramps. This kind of chart reminds you treat them as a person first and as a patient second.
Rafael Campo says that by being attuned to stories of his patients’ lives, he’s become a better doctor. He saves time by writing their stories down, because by doing so he understands the context of his patients’ concerns, what’s important to their hearts, without having to consult the medical charts.
Laura Vater says that doctors have learned to isolate and protect themselves by doling empathy out sparingly. Yet, busy professionals need time for contemplation and self-examination. “We are trained to go numb and go on. We need time to restore ourselves.” “We need to be connected to our own humanity in order to connect to the humanity of our patients.” Writing does this for her. “Writing slows me down in a chaotic world.”
The wonders of technology and each patient’s body, and the pressure to make the correct diagnosis, can distract doctors from the wonders of the person within that body.
Linda Honan echoes Vater: “We are all too crazed. We have to stop for a minute and write.” Reflect. Put the day into context. Quindlen says they can “write their way into understanding, resolution, even peace.”
Medical professionals feel so overworked that they think it’s impossible to find time to write. Everyone who has a stressful job feels this way. Writing helps us debrief, unwind from the day, and prevent burnout. My doctor father didn’t write about his patients or how he was coping; he burned out, his health broke, and he left his practice.
Which brings me back to us. Writing about our cancer journey helps us process and explore what is going on and find the meaning that is important to us. Writing keeps us sane. It connects us to other cancer patients. And rather than giving up as the physical problems go on, writing keeps us working towards surviving because we can see how far we’ve come and what we are learning about life and ourselves.
You probably have a pen and a blank piece of paper somewhere in the house, maybe even a notebook. Why not give it a try? I have found it helpful for remembering when a vague physical symptom began and the specifics of how it felt before it became a pain. This is part of your story, and your doctor will need to know these details. If the symptom goes away, even better.
©2026 Mark Liebenow
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